Intermission
Hello my lovely readers! I’m throwing in an intermission for those that have commented with questions and/or confusion towards Inko and Izuku’s dynamic. I realized that I am writing this story with years worth of information that most don’t. Because of that, this is going to be my attempt at doing a crash course so this story makes a little bit more sense.
Please, keep in mind that all of this is a random mind-dump of information that I have gathered through years of my strange fascination involving ‘Adult Children returning to their parents after years of being abducted’.
First, I want to say that I am not an expert nor claim to be one. I have just consumed a lot of content and taken a few psychology courses; and apparently all of that is impacting my writing for fanfiction 😝 So please, don’t take anything I say as solid proof/ advise/ or absolute certainty on this subject. Keep in mind that the science of the brain and how it functions under abuse/trauma is always growing and expanding.
Section 1: The period after a child disappears: Inko
The psychology of what happens in this period has a lot of published information from both doctors and the parents themselves. Most of the time, as it is reported, a parent is trapped in a limbo state as they await for authorities to work on their child’s case. This can impact a parent's psychology depending on how law enforcement, the general population, and media handle this; because stress can rewrite the brain’s cognitive functions. IE; this is where PTSD, ASD, OCD, Personality and Mood Disorders, Schizophrenia, and a whole handful of other disorders can begin in the parent’s psyche.
(I am not saying that every parent that has stress will have developed a disorder, we are talking about the worst-case scenario here.)
I am going to focus on the story with Inko and Izuku to try and explain this.
I didn’t delve deep into Inko’s story because rarely does a parent get that luxury in the real world. The media, police and the general public only remember/care about the child that is missing and unfortunately the parents have to fight for their voices to be heard.
Sadly, Izuku was taken at the age that many Law Enforcement would default as an ‘unruly child’ running away from home. Even if there is no proof and the parents are adamant that something is wrong, there is very little urgency to get a search underway. Many parents are left with no answers or updates for months or even years to where their child is. They are forced into a dichotomy that functions separate from the day to day while also being forced to live the day to day. In cases like Inko, many parents can’t mourn the loss of their child even decades later because there is no proof that their child is dead. They are just gone, absent like they are at a friend's house or still at school; so a part of the parent believes that their child will return eventually even if statistics oppose that line of thinking.
Many parents have described their outlook on themselves as being “the ultimate failure”, that it’s their fault they were unable to protect their child during the most vulnerable and desperate time. This trauma and distress is usually catastrotized when the people around them amplify the worst-case scenarios and then leave the parent to process everything without support or care. This usually starts through the media bombarding a parent for coverage/ updates and then not caring as there is a better news heading. Then it leads to family and friends feeling awkward or unable to emotionally support the parents after becoming emotionally drained from the search for the missing child.
This is how I have written Inko. She is practically a single mother that one day had to live with the fact her child never came home. Little help from family and friends, no leads with progress in the case and ultimately no help from the law. That continual stress rewrites brain chemistry, and some parents either refuse to move on with their life and it becomes a part of their identity or some are practically forced to move on and live life despite having a ‘lost’ child as a form of protection for themselves mentally.
Even though Inko chose to leave and live in America with her husband, she still is suffering from the dichotomy of her child being dead AND at the same time alive somewhere.
Section 2: Izuku returning in Inko’s POV
The initial reunion of a child (even in their adulthood) with their parents is usually portrayed as this happy and joyous time where everyone is able to move on like nothing happened. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case majority of the time. It is rare for a long-term abduction case to resolve with the child returning to their parents alive as it is more common for the child to be discovered diseased.
In the cases where the child is returned alive, some parents have reported that this time of reunion is more overwhelming and heartbreaking than joyous.
Why would this be?
When the brain goes through something traumatic, like losing a child, the parent’s brain is unable to understand that their child will be returned to them in a different condition. Of course, parents are advised and prepared by Mental Health Professionals, but that rarely helps when their brains have functioned under different psychological pathways for so long.
The majority of parents haven’t mentally aged the child version of their kid to match with the reality of the situation when they are reunited, so it is overwhelmingly shocking to them.
Just think about it like this (cause this is how it kinda works psychologically). Imagine your sibling, pet, best friend or even your own child right now. Think about how they interact with people and the world around them, your favorite moments of them, how they laugh and smile or eat food they don’t like. You have a bond and understanding of them for who they are right now.
So you go to bed tonight and wake up tomorrow to them being ten years older. Imagine how shocking that would be for you. They would look, act and do things completely differently; almost like a stranger.
A child that returns after years of abduction is not only older, but they act and do things differently. They have different tastes and behaviors, and speak and eat differently (not including behaviors caused/learned by their abductor). The signs of who they are to you are no longer there.
Most parents habitually (even after years) return to what the routine was before their child disappeared. It is a coping mechanism to try and make the trauma and pain disappear, but that can’t happen when the ‘child’ has their own trauma and is no longer a child. This can cause any mental and mood disorders to become active in the parent in an attempt to gain control of a situation that they never had control over. The parent is taking the ‘I failed to protect my child’ and over compensating to prove in some way that they still can.
I highly recommend watching the 2015 movie ‘Room’. It is an amazing rendition of a woman that was abducted in her teens and is rescued years later with her son. The movie does an exceptional job at showing the multi-layered situation it is for an Adult Child to return home.
In some reported cases, the parent will ignore the abduction altogether and focus on the rehabilitation of their child even if they are confused and hurt. This is the best case scenario that can happen. That doesn’t mean that there aren't issues and difficulties during this time, it just means that some families have the ability to heal with one another.
An example of this is with Elizabeth Smart. She was able to return and eventually have a relationship of some kind with her family even though her parents eventually divorced. They were able to eventually heal and accept what happened.
However, there are other cases where a parent will become overbearing and controlling with their ‘child’ to a toxic and even abusive level. In a way, this isn’t intentional malice for a parent to behave this way. They truly believe that they are acting in the best interests of their family; probably in an attempt to rewrite what has happened. However, this can lead to the already strained relationship fracturing and becoming irreparable.
That is the route of Inko and Izuku. Inko is reunited with an older Izuku but mentally he has never aged to her. Imagine how devastating all of this is to a mother that never got the chance to see her little boy grow up but suddenly has to treat him that way. That in itself is traumatic. So, the over-powering need to latch onto her baby in an attempt to protect him is instinctive for the mother to do.
Section 3: Izuku returning
A child returning to their parents after years can be just as traumatic as the initial abduction itself. The child has been conditioned to function and behave in a certain way because of the risk of punishment by their abductor. For that situation to change so suddenly can be difficult for the adult child to handle as the sudden freedom is terrifying and can lead to paranoia or depression.
By reuniting with their parents, the adult child has to face their ‘old’ self and that is painful to do. To realize that the span of time they missed didn’t stop the world from turning but moved on without them is evident in how everyone they once knew moved on with their lives while they were stuck. To see that their family and friends got to live a normal life can be debilitating and cause resentment to form.
To reintegrate back into society, these adult children have to relearn how to interact with not just the world but their family and friends. They have to acknowledge how the abduction has affected them; their lack of education, social awareness, communication, and emotional intellect and ability to form connections.
On top of that, many cases have shown that the adult child feels overwhelming pressure to become who they were before their kidnapping. That who they have become is dirty or dangerous to interact with. So it is inevitable that many victims have to wear a mask to hide what happened to them to protect themselves from the emotions that many express to them; ie, humiliation, disgust, overt fascination or outright hate.
In the best cases, the healing period is hard and emotional for the adult child. It is exhausting and confusing to relearn and accept who they ultimately are while learning how to establish boundaries. It can take years before they feel comfortable enough to join society and participate in what many individuals start doing in early adulthood.
In the worst cases, all of what was just stated becomes almost impossible for the adult child to start doing when they have a parent that is over reaching and suffocating. The child basically becomes a victim to a new captor as their parents insert themselves in every aspect of their healing, or hijack it and make it their own. Enmeshment is a key issue that many victims find themselves in when trying to establish their own identities and move on from their abduction.
This is what we see happening to Izuku, he has to put on this mask to hide his trauma. It’s all an attempt to protect himself, but that mask slips when the reminder of who he actually is becomes too much to hide. We see these tiny fractures forming each time Inko oversteps a boundary.
Section 4: The legality of an adult under the care of a parent
Because it is so rare for a child to return home after years of abduction, there are very few guidelines or understandings of what the correct processes are to reintegrate the child (now adult) back into society. Those determinations can be placed on a Mental Health Professional or the Government, but it is usually placed on the parent’s shoulders to navigate since they are the next of kin and should know their child better than anyone else. This can create a new whirlpool of issues for both parent and child.
It also doesn’t help that Izuku is basically in the Witness Protection Program, but we are going to leave that out in order to simplify things.
In Izuku’s case, he is under the Government's care because they couldn’t find Inko when he was first rescued. Izuku is an adult by society and governmental standards, however, he is unable to function solely by himself in society. In order for him to be protected (mentally and physically) he needs a guardian to facilitate his needs until he can prove that he is competent enough to do that himself.
The Bakugou’s are one of Izuku’s governmental guardians, functioning like a conservatorship with Izuku’s day to day needs. Izuku also has a Psychologist/ Therapist, a home help nurse, and in the case of this story; two heroes. This is to allow there to be checks and balances so Izuku is not taken advantage of or inadvertently put in harm's way.
But Izuku’s parents are now in the picture, so does that change things?
Unfortunately or fortunately, just because they are now present doesn’t mean the government is going to turn over the guardianship to them; especially since they are no longer residents of Japan and Izuku is a citizen. So Inko would have to apply and prove that she is capable and able to take on being Izuku’s guardian.
I tried to show that process in the story through the phone call Hisashi had. Just because they are his parents doesn’t mean they have control of Izuku and his rehabilitation process. They are allowed to know Izuku’s medical information and are able to live with him, but they ultimately have no rights over him and thus can’t make any decisions for him.
(I have no idea how Japan or multi-country systems would work in this case, so I defaulted that Japan would stay in control of Izuku’s guardianship as it felt better to me when writing this story).
I’m not going to dive any deeper into Izuku’s POV because I don’t want to spoil anything. Ultimately he is in the midst of rehabilitation and navigating that is difficult with parents that have their own interests that don’t match his own.
Conclusion:
Basically the undertone for this story is about the healing process and how everyone is at the mercy of their own psychology. People love to say that the human race is evolved and capable of handling any situation put in front of them. Unfortunately, our brains haven’t evolved much in the way of looking past our own traumas. We all see the world through the experiences that have happened to us, and communicate with others that have experienced an entirely different world than our own.
This story wasn’t meant to be ‘deep’ or complex but ultimately my writing is influenced by my own fascinations. I didn’t see the ‘holes’ in my story telling because my psychology was able to fill them in easily. I hope that this explanation doesn’t take away from the story but helps fill in those pockets of confusion that I ultimately created.
That is why I love people commenting and expressing their feelings with each chapter. It helps broaden my view and take in what the reader is seeing. So please, continue to comment and share your thoughts because I value you so much!
Thank you again for reading!!
Elise K
